Your love, your story – A wedding ceremony that truly reflects you
Finding the Right Voice for Your Wedding Ceremony:
Loved One, Professional… or even AI?
Key Information - Officiant: Friend or Pro?
✦ A meaningful decision: friend, professional, or AI… your choice sets the tone and emotional flow of your ceremony.
✦ A friend brings intimacy: heartfelt words and personal connection — but it’s a demanding role requiring writing, structure, and emotional control.
✦ A professional brings calm: with experience, structure, and emotional precision for a smooth and customized ceremony.
✦ A coherent story: a pro ensures flow and balance between vows, readings, rituals, and personal speeches.
✦ AI can inspire, but not replace: it lacks human depth, accuracy, and emotional understanding.
Your symbolic ceremony is a meaningful moment, filled with emotion and beauty. It marks your commitment in a personal, sincere, and free way. But one crucial question always arises: Who will officiate this ceremony?
A loved one? A professional celebrant? Or even generative AI?
This choice will have a direct impact on the tone, rhythm, quality… and above all, the emotional intensity of your ceremony. Here is a complete guide to help you make an informed decision.
What is a ceremony officiant?
The secular ceremony officiant is the person who brings your commitment to life. Their role goes far beyond simply speaking on the day:
✦ They collect your story,
✦ Structure and write the complete flow,
✦ Guide you step by step,
✦ Coordinate any contributions,
✦ Manage emotions, surprises, and key moments.
A setting ready to welcome the couple’s story: the ceremony begins long before the first words are spoken.
The setting is ready to welcome the couple’s story: a ceremony begins long before the first words are spoken.
When a loved one speaks, emotion is present… but so is responsibility.
Choosing a loved one: an intimate, authentic… and more economical option
Entrusting this role to a loved one often feels natural. It’s a decision guided by affection and the desire for a very intimate ceremony.
Advantages:
✦ Words filled with emotion and shared memories,
✦ A strong bond with the couple,
✦ A familiar, reassuring presence.
But be mindful of the realities:
While cost-saving is appealing, it’s also a demanding task, often underestimated. A loved one must write, structure, speak in public, manage transitions and surprises… often without training.
They may also have a very different idea of the ceremony than the couple, which they might impose without meaning to. And the stress of the day can be overwhelming for the person bearing this responsibility.
Why hire a professional officiant?
A professional officiant guarantees you:
✦ A structured, soothing, bespoke support,
✦ A smooth, coherent, emotionally balanced ceremony,
✦ A reliable presence on the wedding day,
✦ A discreet mediator, attentive to family sensitivities,
✦ Creativity fueled by experience,
✦ A celebration delivered with accuracy and emotion.
A secular celebrant is also able to design a ceremony that reflects you, with the right tone, rhythm, words, and symbolic rituals.
The expertise of a professional celebrant: creating a ceremony that is smooth, structured, and full of meaning.
The expertise of a professional officiant: creating a ceremony that is smooth, structured, and full of meaning.
My personalized guidance: balance between structure and freedom
In my practice, I’ve chosen to offer a structured yet flexible process. Each couple receives a private online space to follow the preparation alongside our meetings, centralize ideas, and keep in touch.
I also offer personalized vow-writing workshops, to help couples find the right words for a heartfelt, balanced ceremony.
And I make sure to keep a subtle balance between surprise and reassurance: sharing enough to comfort, while preserving the magic of discovery.
And if loved ones want to take part?
The officiant’s role
In a secular ceremony, it’s common for loved ones to want to speak, share a reading, recall memories, or give a personal message. Contrary to popular belief, the officiant’s role isn’t simply to “let everyone speak,” but to create a coherent, respectful ceremony that reflects the couple’s wishes.
My role: channel, frame, harmonize
When preparing a ceremony, I talk with loved ones about what they’d like to say, their connection to the couple, and the emotions they wish to express.
But I don’t just compile texts. I provide detailed feedback on each contribution:
✦ I filter awkward or inappropriate remarks (yes, some dare to say “I wouldn’t have chosen her for you” or refer to an ex),
✦ I adjust the style if needed,
✦ I ensure every word finds its rightful place in the ceremony.
Finally, I weave everything together—contributions, vows, rituals—into a harmonious, smooth narrative that honors the couple’s story.
Spotlight on bilingual ceremonies
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More than just a translation
A bilingual ceremony is not simply about “translating” each passage. It’s a balancing act that only an experienced bilingual celebrant can truly master.
It’s not about giving a speech in French, then repeating it in English. Nor about overloading guests with a double version of every sentence. Nor handing out printed translations of speeches.
A true bilingual ceremony is written from the start to alternate seamlessly between both languages with fluidity, emotion, and meaning.
This means:
✦ Integrating cultural elements with finesse,
✦ Avoiding redundancies that bore bilingual guests,
✦ Maintaining rhythm, emotion, and understanding for all.
Every word, passage, and symbolic ritual is designed so each language has its place, every guest feels included, and the whole remains lively, coherent, and authentic.
An intimate moment: every word spoken becomes a shared memory.
A moment of connection: every word spoken becomes a shared memory.
Coaching a loved one: an in-between solution… with limits
Some celebrants offer to guide a loved one (parent, friend, sibling, witness, uncle, aunt…) in creating the ceremony. Depending on the package, the professional may write part or all of the text, while leaving more or less freedom to the person officiating.
This requires someone truly reliable, committed, and able to respect the framework. I used to offer this option, but certain experiences showed me its limits: last-minute improvisations, drifting off the script, imbalance in the flow…
That’s why I’ve chosen not to guide without celebrating anymore. When I prepare a ceremony, it’s to fully embody and deliver it myself.
Photo Ellie Gillard
Symbolic rituals, guided by the officiant, give depth and strength to the couple’s commitment.
Artificial Intelligence: an ally… or a false friend?
AI can help with structure and writing… but it can also invent texts, fake quotes, and miss the context.
A real example: a text attributed to a famous author… never written by them!
During a ceremony preparation, a loved one submitted a beautiful text, supposedly by a well-known classic author—perfectly fitting for the occasion.The tone felt right, the emotion was there—or so it seemed. But something felt off: the style didn’t match, and I couldn’t trace the quote.
Giving the floor to loved ones: a moving moment, harmonized to preserve the flow of the ceremony.
After some research, it turned out the text had been generated by AI and wrongly presented as authentic by an automated site. The loved one meant well, but the groom was a literature professor… Imagine: a fake quote attributed to an author he’d been teaching for 20 years!
Thankfully, I caught the error in time, verified the source, and offered a genuine alternative in the same spirit.
This story shows that AI can be tempting, but it will never replace human intelligence, rigor, or contextual sensitivity.
A useful parallel: DJ, caterer, photographer, florist… and officiant
In wedding planning, many couples involve loved ones to cut costs or include their circle.
You can entrust music to a friend who loves playlists, ask witnesses to handle the buffet, or a cousin passionate about photography to capture the day.
Sometimes it works. But often, it brings added stress, unpredictability, and uneven results.
That’s why most couples prefer professional vendors, ensuring quality, serenity, and flow.
Writing vows, preparing each detail: the officiant’s support continues right up to the wedding day.
The ceremony officiant is no exception.
It’s a role in its own right, requiring listening, experience, presence of mind, rhythm, and the right words. A good officiant carries the ceremony, weaving together intentions, emotions, silences, memories, and contributions.
Like music, the meal, or the photos, it’s a unique, unrepeatable moment. It deserves the attention of someone who can truly honor it.
Conclusion: choose with clarity and confidence, according to your priorities
At the heart of the ceremony: a love story celebrated with authenticity and emotion.
There’s no universally right or wrong choice — what truly matters is understanding what each option involves: in terms of preparation, organization, emotional load, and how things will unfold on the big day.
A loved one can bring a deeply personal touch, full of shared memories, authenticity, and heartfelt emotion. As long as they’re well prepared, supported, and able to carry this role while respecting the vision you’ve imagined.
A professional celebrant, on the other hand, offers a steady presence, an outside perspective, attentive listening, and complete mastery of the ceremony’s flow. They ensure everything runs smoothly, sincerely, and in a way that reflects who you are — with discretion, warmth, and a sense of detail.
Ultimately, what matters most is choosing someone you trust — someone who will carry your story with care, authenticity, and the respect it deserves.
Let’s talk about your ceremony